Reflection Time...

Don't you find it odd how one, seemingly insignificant event can change the course off your life? About three years ago I was at home when I got a phone call from my brother in-law Brandon. He told me he was going to massage school and thought it would be a good idea for me to go as well. I never had an interest in massage. My friend Paigey was a therapist and I was constantly giving her a hard time about her job. Asking why she chose to rub fat, hairy people for a living? She would ask if I wanted to go get a massage from her work and I would always tell her no and I didn't want a stranger rubbing me. She would tell me I was missing out but I never believed her, so when Brandon proposed massage school I thought he was a little crazy. Why would I want to rub strangers? To this day I'm not sure how or why I started the enrollment process. I had absolutely no interest in being a therapist, but yet I went through all the steps it took to start school. I met with Maryanne and got financial aid figured out, then I met Cat in admissions who went through the courses and took me on a tour of the school and introduced me to lots of new people. Throughout all this I didn't ever remember getting excited for school or really wanting to start school. It just happened!
School started and I was constantly faced with the question, "Why did you come to school and what are your plans for after graduating?" My answer? "I dunno." Seven hard and challenging months later I was a UCMT graduate and dumbfounded as to how I ended up there. Eventually, I found my passion for body work while attending school and was grateful for whatever the driving force was which lead me to school and what kept me there. I reflect back on these last few years and I have an amazing job as a therapist where I am able to help those in need and be a service to them on a daily basis. I love what I do and I love who and what I have become. My entire perspective on life has changed and I have met some of the greatest people because of school and the experiences I had during school and since school. All this happened with just a single phone call from Brandon. It's funny how one little thing can set into motion big changes. Changes you weren't expecting and changes you can't even explain. I don't know how or why all the little pieces that had to fall together to make all this happen did fall together, but I sure am glad it did. I guess I was destined to do greater things than just be a bum living at home with the parentals. I love my job and I love all the people I have met because of school. My life has changed in so many ways its ridonkulous! Thank you universe for making so many great things happen for me! LOVE IT!

Memories of Tami's House. My Favoirte House

Soo...the day has come...one of my favorite siblings is leaving me. For Washington. Oh Washington how I long to be with you one day. This isn't the first time Tami has left me. Tami first left me when I was about 4 to Argentina for 18 months. I MISSED her a lot, and I was so happy to have her back. Except it wasn't long after she got home from Argentina that she did the unthinkable and married her high school sweetheart! (Which at the time was the same boy I liked and was bound and determined I was going to marry.) Well this boy took Tami off to Michigan for I don't know how long, but it seemed like forever! Tami then moved to Washington where she was for a few years, but her and Brandon smartened up and finally moved back to Utah again! YAY! But now...Tami and Brandon and their herd of 9 great kids are moving back to Washington yet again! I'm not going to lie--I'm a little distraught. I have gotten rather close to this family through the years and I'm rather fond of them all. I'm not sure what I'm going to do without them here. Where am I supposed to go for Sunday dinner now? Their door has always been open to me and it's really going to be hard not having them so close. I think about all the memories I have made with them and...life just isn't going to be the same. I've laughed (I know weird. I never do that, but it really did happen a lot) in their house, I've cried in their house, I have been frustrated in their house, and I have grown as a person in their house. I shouldn't really even call it their house, because they made it feel like it was my own home. I grew and I changed right along with their own children in that house. (Side note--this blog is harder to write than I thought it was going to be. I've already cried twice and I haven't even started. Crap!) These are some of my favorite and most memorable moments with this amazing family that I love and cherish with all my heart!

Moment number one: Spending the weekend with everyone in Midway at a beautiful house and playing kick ball in the back yard. Of course being the cool chick that I am I literally tripped over a stupid dandelion and ate dirt...hard. That's how I roll though! I'm just that awesome!

Two: Having dinner! Yes. Dinner. These people know how to go all out and make the most amazing food ever! You're always stuffed to the brim. You have to remember to bring your fat pants for dinner time. Yummy! Oh, and the conversations are always the best...constantly laughing. My stomach has actually hurt because I laughed so much up there. "Chill and eat a Cheeto!"

Three: The fam and I spent the day up at Lagoon celebrating the twin's 13th birthday and while I did have fun there it was the conversation Tami and I had in my car after our long day that sticks in my mind. We were just about to Tami's house when I told her I had something to tell her. She sent the girls in the house and I sat awkwardly in my car for what felt like an eternity trying to spit it out. Being the nerd ball I am, I wasn't able to say it. Instead I wrote it on a tiny piece of paper I found. It said; I'm gay. Tami read it and said, "I have one sister who is and I love her, and I'll love you too. It doesn't matter and I still love you!" I was a little perplexed. Huh? you mean you don't hate me? You still love me? You'll still talk to me? Tami was the first person I told who didn't let anything change between us and actually supported me. It was her who made it okay for me to be gay. I struggled for years with the whole gay thing. I was in denial for a long time, too long. It seemed that everyone in my life at the time all had negative feelings about it so I didn't want to tell anyone out of fear, but thankfully Tami showed me that it was okay for me to be the real me and to not be afraid. Slowly over time with the support of Tami it went from a scary thing to be gay, to well...nothing really. Yeah I'm gay. So? It's not such a big deal. Look at me now Tami?!? Look at what you helped me become!?! I went from being the scared little girl who couldn't even say she was gay, to going to Pride! Thank you Tami! Life has become so much easier and better for me and it all started with you and that late night sitting in Dorie.

Four: I was spending my 24th of July with Tami and her family and it was a HOTTT one, but in the early evening we got a little break from the sun when it decided to rain buckets and buckets out of nowhere! It was a downpour! The kids and I thought it was so awesome we had to go out and play in it. Within just one minute of being outside I was soaked! My hair was dripping wet and I even had to wring out my socks! My socks! While we were playing outside the kids somehow managed to convince me to roll down their big hill in the front yard. When I say big...I mean BIG. It's definitely not your average hill. Well I'm already drenched...why not? However, I'm not known for being very straight and my rolling skills convey that as well. I knew that if I rolled down this hill I wouldn't take a very straight path so I had the kids line up at the bottom of the hill to stop me from one, hitting the parked cars in the street and two, keep me actually rolling into the road to my death. All the kids lined up and I successfully rolled down the HUGE hill without hitting anything. And, yes I didn't roll straight down. I'm not sure if you can roll crooked, but I'm pretty sure I came real close to it. It was super fun playing, dancing, rolling in the rain...even if I was 21. You gotta let your inner child out every once in awhile. What a great 24th!

Five: This is another hill story. I don't remember all the details, but I do remember Tami and I going somewhere and Tami was going to help me down the hill against my will. Except Tami didn't really help me. Instead, she ending up pushing me down the hill. (This is why I didn't want Tami's help in the first place...I just had a bad feeling about it and I was RIGHT!) Since then it has become an inside joke every time I leave that Tami asks me if I want her help down the hill. Every time I answer emphatically, "NOO!!" This hill could maybe kill you if you're not careful I'm sure. Especially in the winter with all the snow and ice.

Six: A few months after telling Tami my gay secret I was visiting her like always and I mentioned that there was going to be an Anti-Prop 8 vigil up in Salt Lake that night. She looked at me and said, "Let's go!" Really? It's Sunday and you're Mormon--isn't that like against your religion? You're not supposed to want equal rights for us gays. This was another perplexing moment in my life. Mormons...who are for gay rights? They exist? Whoa! Yes, yes they do. They may have different beliefs, but there are some who think everyone deserves the same rights and you can't pick and choose who is good enough to have these rights. This was a new and different concept for me. It took some time getting used to this, but I did eventually. Tami and I jumped in my car, Dorie and went up to Salt Lake. The closer we got to the library the more nervous I got. I'm not sure why I was so nervous. All I had to do was hold a candle, listen to some speakers and then walk around the block. Not so hard. I was such a goofy gay. "Tami. I'm scared." "Why?" "I dunno. This is like the first public thing I've done as a gay. This is the first time I've stood up for something before." "Aww! It's okay Amy. Just know there are people who love and support you. Me. Keri and Wendy and all the people who are going to be here tonight. You're going to be fine!" Tami was right. I ended up being fine. I stood with my candle like a champ and walked the block. There was a lot of gays there that night, but there was also a lot of people of the Mormon faith. Weird. It's not weird now, but it was then....for me anyways. Tami and I were listening to the speakers who were mothers of gay and lesbian children who were in favor of gay marriage and one of the speakers said something that had the entire crowd cheering. Tami cheered a little too hard and blew out her candle. Later when we were walking the block, Tami tuned around to look at the people behind us and said, "Amy look at all these people?!?" which caused my candle to blow out. We were now at a candle vigil with no candles. Fail. So maybe taking Tami to a vigil wasn't, or isn't the best idea because she is easily excited, but I'm glad I got to share my first "public gay outting" with her. It only seemed right. So obviously there was press at this vigil and I found out later that Tami and I's sister, Wendy in Washington saw us on TV while watching the LOGO (some gay and lesbian network) channel. That was pretty cool. Me being the nerd I am told Tami while we were walking, "I feel important! I feel like I'm doing something good." "Amy you are important, and you are doing something good. You're standing up for yourself and others. You're being your true self." Oh yeah! Forgot. That was a really good experience for me.

Seven: This memory was when I was living with Tami and her family while attending massage school. It was January so it was snowing like crazy on my way home one night. Well by Tami's house you have to navigate speed bumps, going up hill and turn right all at the same time. Which I found out the hard way you cannot really do when the roads are snowy and icy. Tami meant to tell me this and to go the other way when it snows, but she forgot. I'm driving in a blizzard which I'm not very fond of to begin with and I get stuck on the stupid speed bump because I was going so slow to avoid sliding everywhere. I couldn't go anywhere! I started freaking out. I called Tami and told her I was stuck. "Where are you?" "By the pool." "OH! I forgot to tell you not to go that way when the weather is bad. You won't make it up the hill." Gee thanks for letting me know! "I'll come get ya." I don't know if Tami sent Mama Bona out of if she just offered to be the one to come get my butt, but Mama Bona came out. However, she ending up slipping and falling on ice like three times before even getting my car. Wow what I helper she is. Someone actually had to come out and help Mama help me...it was a little funny. Eventually Mama came to my rescue and got in the driver seat while the neighbor helped push my car. Well we got unstuck...by being pushed backwards, sliding on the ice and flipping a 180 in the street. Still to this day I'm not sure how we managed not to hit any cars in the street because Mama had no real control of the car and that street is TINY! Mama then tells me, "You might want to call your mom because she said she couldn't get a hold of you and called Tami's and we made the mistake of telling her we didn't know where you were in this blizzard." Great my mom thinks you guys let me die...which they almost did! Hahaha what a crazy ten minute drive home! Well...it took more like 20 minutes because of the snow. Maybe even thirty.

Eight: I was studying my Acupressure one night and it always helps me to have a little study buddy I can teach stuff to. My niece Makenzie was that girl. I was trying to memorize the pathways of our meridians (if you don't know what a meridian is Google it because I don't have that much time to try and explain it) I was teaching Makenzie about the lung meridian which goes up the arm. Makenzie looks at her arm then up at me all confused like and asks, "My lung is in my arm?" Hahaha. Not wanting to clarify everything I said, "Yes. Yes it is." "I think you're wrong." "No I'm not. Just don't ask a doctor or your aunt Wendy. (the nurse)." I still don't think she understands, and I hope I haven't screwed her up to bad--thinking her lung is in her arm. Ooops.

Nine: The family and I were eating dinner one night--a roast I believe. There was a bone with this roast and when I saw it I said, "Hey that bone looks like a humerus!" Everyone looked at me like I was a crazy person and someone eventually asked, "Did you go to the cadaver lab today?" Sheepishly I answered with my head lowered, "Maybe." "Thought so." Things massage school teaches you! It's teaches you how to identify the food you eat! Who would have thunk?!? It's actually quite disturbing.

Ten: Tami was supposed to pick me up from massage school one night and when I got in the car she immediately said, "You have to hold the door closed." "What? Why?" "Well I was driving around the parking lot and out of nowhere the door flung open and now it won't stay closed. You have to hold it." "How did you keep it closed until you parked?" "I didn't." "So you just drove around the parking lot with an open door?" "I thought it would be faster for you to get in." Tami and her sense of humor--never missing a beat! "Hold it closed." Is that safe? "Umm..okay." I thought we only had to get home with the dumb car, but Tami had to run to Walmart a few miles down the road...and every time we turned I had to keep the door from flying open! Haha that car was so retarded! I'm not sure what happened to that car--I think it caught on fire. No wait. That was the van they had. Yeah...not sure what happened to the Lilster. (That is what they named it. They name cars. That's how my car got the name Dorie actually. On the Lagoon day now that I think about it.)

Eleven: One night I felt like having my toe nails painted, but I didn't want to be the one who did it so I asked Tami to do it. She agreed. Yeah...my feet are freakishly ticklish. Any time Tami would attempt to paint anything I would flinch and jerk away! "Amy! If you don't stop it I am going to paint your whole toe!" She wasn't lying! She gave up trying to paint them nicely and literally painted my whole toe--all of them! I had metallic silver feet!! Oh brother it looked ridiculous!

Twelve: I had a bad day at school one day and before going home to Tami's I took a wild crazy drive in the rain to calm me down. I was on this road in PG and there was a sign ahead that said there was a speed bump ahead and to slow down to 15 mph. Yeah right! That is too slow to go over a speed bump. I didn't slow down and ending up hitting this speed bump going 40. BAM! Yeah...big mistake. You see...this speed bump is seriously the biggest speed bump ever! It's not your average bump. I don't even know how to explain this bump, but it's different than most bumps and it HUGE!! When they tell you to go 15 you should really listen because if you don't you'll end up busting your motor mounts. I did! Anyways. After hitting this speed bump on steroids I was so amazed by it I had to tell someone about it! Of course it was Haley and Makenzie! They were the only two who would appreciate this bump in all it's glory! Telling them wasn't enough! I had to show them! I loaded them up in Dorie and took them to the bump! Off in the distance the bump doesn't look very intimidating, but it's deceiving! One of the twins didn't seem all that impressed by it, "That's it? That bump up there?" "Oh you just wait until I hit it." I slowed down to about 20 and hit it. It jostled us around and bit and I finally had the twins attention. I flipped around and hit it again at 30-35...I was too scared to hit it at 40 again, and one of us hit their head on a window! One of the twins, "That thing is huge!!" "I know right?!? I told you!" "Holy crap!" Together we named this steroid bump The Beast! We used to go visit The Beast every so often, but haven't in quite some time. We will though before Hay and Kenz move. That was a fun night minus the breaking of the motor mounts. That wasn't so fun.

Thirteen: Brandon, dear old Brandon was messing around with his head board in his room one day and he asked me to come help. Umm okay and what exactly am I going to be helping you with? Apparently, Brandon needed to know when the head board was nice and level and straight. "Is it straight?" "Brandon I'm not even straight so how do you expect me to be able to tell you if this is?!?" We had a good laugh.

Fourteen: It was massage school graduation and Brandon and Tami were throwing me a party. There was all sorts of yummy food and the best cake ever! Tami and gotten a Barbie doll and made Barbie a little massage table to lay on--face rest and everything and even looked up how to drape her with the sheet on Youtube! The draping looked very professional and I think Tami even did a better job draping her first time than I did in school! Way to go Tami! Massage Time Barbie was the best lookin' cake ever! EVER!

Fifteen: The whole fam damily had gotten together for Sunday dinner (like always) and we were all in the living room all having different conversations, but every once in awhile you would over hear someone else speaking and get very confused. This is how the whole gay pride, monkies in panties, yay adoption, who's Asian thing got started. Oh man what a day! I can't really say more than that because I really have no idea how ALL that even got brought up. Just know it was funny and even more funny if you were there. I guess it'll be our little inside joke now.

There are a lot more memories with this family, but I promised I wouldn't tell anything embarrassing, and there are just a lot of inside jokes like memory fifteen that would make no sense unless you were there. I love this family and they mean the world to me, and I know when the day comes that they finally leave Utah it's going to be difficult and I'll bawl like a baby. How can I even begin to say bye to them? It's going to be quite the change not having them here and there are so many things I wish I did when I had the chance to. This family rocks and I owe them so much in so many ways. I love you all, and you will be missed! A LOT! At least I'll have these memories to keep me satisfied until I can come visit you.

GAY PRIDE 2011

Went to the Gay Pride Festival for the first time this past weekend! (Does this make me a bad lesbian for taking this long to get up there)? What a riot! This years festival set a new record for vendors, volunteers, parade floats, and those in attendance. It was estimated that some 30,000 people attended the festival and I was lucky enough to be one of them.

I bought my festival tickets in advanced because I did not want to stand in line at Pride waiting forever! Apparently it took about 30 minutes of standing in line to get tickets the day of the festival I found out later. PHEW! Glad that wasn't me waiting that long. I bought the tickets about a week before Pride and immediately COULD NOT wait for the weekend to come. I worked Thursday, Friday, and Saturday nights and I swear my shifts took longer to get through with each passing night. Saturday at 8:00 could not come fast enough. Eventually I was done with work for the weekend and I was free to flee to Pride. FINALLY!!

Unfortunately, I was so stinkin' excited to go to Pride Sunday morning I had a hard time sleeping the night before. I had every intention of going to bed early because I would be up earlier than I usually am Sundays and I did not want to be grumpy. No one likes a grumpy lesbian at Pride. This did not happen however, I didn't get to sleep until about 2 in the morning after a 40 minute car ride around Riverton, South and West Jordan to make me sleepy and calm me down. I'm like a baby or small child like that--want me to get sleepy? Stick me in a car. Stupid excitement! When one goes to bed at 2, 8 a.m. comes early I have discovered...the hard way. For those who know me best you know how much I love my sleep. I love sleeping in and if I don't get 10 hours I am a grouchy bear. So being up at 8 in the morning on a Sunday almost never happens! You know Pride was important to me when I was up that early. I got up and jumped in the shower and by jumped I mean stumbled into the bathroom and more like fell into the shower. I was so sleepy. I don't think I even opened my eyes. I got dressed in my most appropriate Gay Pride attire; my Lesbians Taste Like Chicken shirt and most importantly my rainbow belt!! I then attempted to do my hair. It's very important to look good at Pride...you've got to compete with all those hot gay boys! You can't let them make the ladies look bad. My hair however, refused to work with me and I was having a bad hair day! Not a good day for a bad hair day! I gave up after awhile and just let it do whatever the hell it wanted. It worked and I looked alright. Maybe not hottttt, but hot. Good enough.

Miki got to my house after some very good directions--I have mad navigational skills. She was in need of some rainbow propaganda so I lent her one of my many rainbow belts. The first time she put on the belt she looped it through her right belt loop, thus making it impossible to buckle. "Amy what is wrong with your belt? Is it a man belt?" "No. It doesn't have body parts...I don't see any reproductive organs anywhere. It's unisex." The second time Miki put the belt on--left loop this time--she had the belt upside down. Seriously? You would think this was the girls first time wearing a belt! I told her, "Miki. Your rainbow is upside down." We got Miki all fixed rainbow right side up and headed off to Pride! While we were driving I was smoking (I know gross. It's bad for me. I need to quit. I know!) and I went to ash out the window, but instead of the ash going out the window like it was supposed to it came back and burned my chest instead. I screamed like a little girl and Miki looked at me like I was a crazy person. I started brushing the ash off my skin, but this only caused it to go down onto my stomach which caused it to burn a hole through my shirt!! No, not my lesbian chicken shirt! I was so bummed! I guess that's what I get for having a bad habit huh? As far as I was concerned Pride was ruined. I couldn't continue my pilgrimage up to Salt Lake. Just kidding! Like a little hole in my awesome shirt would keep me from Pride. I just put a black tank top on so the tiny hole wasn't as noticeable. Miki said we needed to get in the Pride spirit so we turned on good ole' Melissa Etheridge and had it blaring all the way up to SLC! It was a nice drive.

We got to the Pride grounds and made our way to the parade route. I was so happy! I couldn't wait to get my Pride on. While waiting at a cross walk I had a woman come ask me if she could take a picture of my awesomely inappropriate, but funny, slightly offensive shirt. "Heck yeah!" (I'm so Utahn). After the woman took her picture her partner came up to me and apologized, "Sorry. She gets a little crazy sometimes." "Oh no, it's fine." "She took a picture of the protesters earlier." Ohhh! I wanna picture of the protesters! Where they at? "Hey I would take a picture of them too. It's really okay." More and more people made their way to the parade and before too long it was wall to wall people. Can I just tell you how scary it is when you have social anxiety and you are shoulder to shoulder with strangers? It's crazy scary. Let the chest pain commence!! I was lucky enough to get to stand next to a man in drag who kept whacking me with his purse. Her purse? Their purse? It got a little annoying after awhile, but he? She? Wasn't as annoying as the stupid people in front of us! There was a group of taller, wider individuals who stood right up front, leaving us vertically challenged individuals straining to see past them. I was so mad! Isn't it a universal thing that taller people are in the back and the shorter peeps are up front? Maybe it's just me. The parade began with the motorcycle police leading the way. About four officers pulled up and sat for a minute. While they sat waiting there were a few officers who pulled out their cell phones and started taking pictures of us! Hahaha. While thousands of people were taking pictures of them, they were busy taking pictures of us. I just thought it was funny. After the police rode by it was the Dykes on Bikes turn. I was really excited to see this part. There is nothing like the smell of exhaust and leather and the roar of sexy sexy bikes to start your morning. Except...there was only like ten bikers...maybe WHAT?!? That's it? That was a disappointment. Following the bikers came our Grand Marshall, Ms. Roseanne Barr. I didn't know this, but she's from Salt Lake! She even grew up as a Jewish Mormon! Yes, both. I thought that was kinda cool. You learn something new everyday. Roseanne is old lookin' now. I was really surprised to see her with all that gray hair. Well anyways...Roseanne waved like any good Grand Marshall should, so I guess she fulfilled her duties. I didn't get to see much more of the parade than that due to ALL the people! It was overwhelming at times. Okay, most of the time it was overwhelming. Miki and I suffered through most of the parade, but ended up leaving early because we couldn't see, so why stand in the blistering heat getting hit with a purse every two minutes if you don't have to? Time to hit the festival!!

Upon our arrival to the festival the first thing I did was FREAK OUT!! Soooo...many people! My palms got sweaty and nasty and the chest pain increased ten fold. With heavy breathing, heart racing, and wide eyes I trudged forward into a gay abyss filled with pretty rainbows. Secondly, Miki and I found a nice shady place to fall onto the grass and chill out for a moment and take everything in. Once my feet stopped hurting we were on the move again! We wandered around checking out random booths and vendors, but it didn't take long weaving in and out of masses of people before I reached my people limit. I tend to have a very large bubble and I HATE it when people are in my bubble, so the fact that I was now sharing my bubble with at least five other people with every step I took was insane and no longer doable. I either had to leave Pride just having got there or go get a drink. I opted for second solution. Got myself a tasty beverage and drank half of it in the first gulp and calmed the nerves at which time Miki and I found some live music. Yay! This woman was...awesome! If Janice Joplin and Melissa Etheridge had a child together it would be this chick. I immediately fell in love! Her music was great, her raspy throaty voice was so sexy, and don't even get me started on her tattoos. Hot damn. I was smitten. While we were listening to "the hot chick" I was texting my buddy Laura and turns out Laura knows the hot chick!! Whaaat? Shut up! Laura wanted me to come meet her girlfriend so after the hot chick was all done singing me and Mik had the undaunting task of finding two ladies in a sea of lesbians. You're kidding me right? You're like a needle in a freakin' haystack! Shank me in the eyeball now. But don't worry...she was just over by the Bingo area...wherever the hell that is! Okay so first we had to find where the oldies were playing Bingo. Second, we had to look through the sea of oldies playing Bingo to find them still. (What is it about old people and Bingo anyways? Do they play it because they are old and can't move because it can't be that fun? When I'm old I'm going base jumping and riding a bullet bike at 130 mph. None of this Bingo silliness). Good thing for me--Laura wasn't in the middle of Bingo she was kinda on the outskirts of the Bingo area so they were easy to find. Praise the Lord. Met up with Laura and met her girlfriend and someone they knew. Laura told me hot chick's (did I mention she's hot? Not sure if I did) name, it's Chandra. "Yeah she was...a player." This is the polite way of saying she was slutty. If I were that hot I would be slutty too Laura. Aaannnd....that pretty much sums up Pride. Miki and I left shortly after that because Miki had to go help make Sunday dinner for the whole fam damily, and she was burnt to a crisp. I'm pretty sure she referred to herself as a pig and a crustacean. I'm not sure what the pig had anything to do with, but I will agree that she was as red as a lobster. Me on the other hand...not so much. Neener-neener!

This was the abridged version of Pride because it would take FOREVER to recount every feeling, every experience, every everything. Pride was good. I enjoyed my crazy time there and I plan on going again. I'm going to sleep in though and just skip the parade next time. The best part of Pride for me was seeing old gay and lesbian couples. Seeing two people who have been together and have loved each other for over half their life made me smile. Knowing that even 20 years ago it wasn't as easy to be gay as it is today, let alone 50 years ago, two people can find each other and can make it work all because of the love they have for one another gives me warm fuzzies. Love really does conquer all. This sounds a lil dumb, but it was good to be out with--for a lack of a better term-- "my own kind" knowing no one there cared if you were gay or straight. We were accepted for who we are, not what we are. Yes, I am a lesbian, but that's not the only thing. I'm also Amy. I'm kind, I'm loving, I'm self hating and self depricating sometimes. I'm loyal, and I care for my friends. There's so much more to me than just that one thing. You have to be willing to look past that and see what else is there though. It frustrates me feeling like that one aspect of my life is all people see sometimes. There's so much MORE. Don't hate me, don't stop loving me, don't disown me, don't deny me my rights because of this...this one thing. Instead of separating ourselves from one another by focusing on the one thing that makes us different we need to spend our time and energy seeing how we are the same. When you look at a painting or a picture do you just spend the whole time focusing in on one spot? No. You take a step back and see the picture as a whole. You allow it to all come together as one. Why can't or why don't we do that with people? Gandhi said, "Our ability to reach unity in diversity will be the beauty and test of our civilization." I say, "True dat!"