August 19, 2011 is a day I don't think I will soon forget. I had yet another interview for a T.A. (Teacher's assistant/ Teacher's aide) position at SLC UCMT (massage school dumb dumb). In case you forgot; the first time I interviewed there for the T.A. spot I didn't get it. Well this time....it was different. My interview was Friday morning and when Thursday rolled around I had a little bit of a panic attack and seriously thought about not attending my interview. I didn't want to be (for lack of a better term) rejected for a second time. It was hard the first time, and it's always hard a second. I realize my not getting the job came down to not being the right time for me and it had nothing to do with my abilities or me sucking, but it's still hard waiting for "my right time". All throughout Thursday I had conflicting feelings toward my interview. I would go through moments of: I'M NOT GOING--THERE'S NO POINT. I'M NOT GOING TO GET THE JOB! To moments of: I GOT THIS! IT'S MY TIME GOSH DARN IT! (So really that's not what I was thinking, but I'm trying to keep this close to PG rated). All this happening within minutes of each other. I was going, no I wasn't, yes I was, nope not gonna try. I was slightly bipolar all day. I finally decided to see how I felt Friday morning when my alarm clock sounded to make my decision. Probably not the best decision, but I had to do something to keep the voices in my head quiet because the cookies weren't helping. (That was a joke yo. Laugh). So Friday morning came...slowly. I had a hell of a time trying to sleep. I had a million and one possible interview questions and answers running around in my brain. Can't sleep....must answer questions. Can't fail again. Arg! I woke up and didn't feel tired. Sleepy yes, but not tired. I decided to go to my interview! I wore my rippling bicep shirt with the ruffles. You might be asking yourself what a rippling bicep shirt is so let me tell you. It's a shirt that shows off your massive guns when you flex should you ever need to flex randomly. And let me tell you...I have some sexy biceps and flexing is always necessary. Especially when interviewing. Of course you can't have a rippling bicep shirt without a pair of amazing butt pants! Amazing butt pants? They're just pants that make your derriere look super sexy. In my opinion you can't go to an interview without these two things. They're pretty much a must. They're almost as important as your resume and references people! Anyways...
Once I got to the school I had another little panic attack and had to call my mom, then I was good to go in and sign the sign-in sheet. Even though I had moments of sheer panic and fear overall the thought of interviewing again to be a T.A. didn't really seem to phase me much. It was an odd feeling, one that I was never really able to identify. I would think about my upcoming interview and most the time I would just get this calm feeling. Like a "don't fret, don't over think it, don't worry--you've got this" feeling. I really didn't spend a lot of time pondering or thinking about it. Family would ask "How are you feeling about your interview? Are you ready?" And all I could say was, "Meh. I guess." I didn't spend a lot of time preparing for the interview. Yeah I was nervous a little and thought about the questions they may ask me, but not a lot of time was spent thinking about it...at least not as much as the first interview. Whenever I would start over thinking something the calm feeling would hit me and I would calm my shiz down and go on living life normally. Of course as soon as I got to the school I started sizing up my competition...trying to figure out who my biggest threat was. I've decided my threat radar isn't as good as my gay-dar because I wasn't really getting vibes from anyone. EVERYONE was a threat and I needed to search and destroy weapons of mass destruction. It was on like Donkey Kong and everyone was going down! THIS IS MY INTERVIEW! IT'S MY TIME! The only person who stood out to me was some random guy who was sitting alone, in the back corner of the room. I'm not sure which made him stand out more; his black baggy jean looking pants, or his combat boots. Oh, and a tie with all that. Either way this guy was different. I didn't really pay this guy much attention, until he started preaching his "massage vision" to Thomas. His vision was decent...it was a good vision I think, I just don't know where it came from. It was a little out of no where. He just sort of started preaching....like Jesus. (Hahahaha Joke. Slightly offensive joke). I couldn't decide what this guy was doing there. At first I thought he was interviewing for the T.A. job, and I was going to get mad but later I learned he wasn't. I still don't know what he was doing there. He didn't seem to have a purpose. He just sat there....the whole time. Through the presentation and the interviews. Weirdy. After combat boot boy was done with his sermon he did the unthinkable. He said, "Massage Envy therapists are bad therapists." Excuse me?!? I am a M.E. therapist and I DON'T SUCK! I'm sure there are crappy therapists working at M.E. but to say all of us suck is ridonkulous my friend. People think Park City is full of great therapists, but I'm sure there are crappy ones working there too. I texted my friend Paigey who worked at M.E. for years and years and told her what boot boy said and she made a very valid point. She said, "It's not where you work. It's how you work." THANK YOU PAIGEY! It was at this point that I wanted to walk over to Mr. Boot boy and smack him upside the head, but I didn't think UCMT would like that much....so I refrained from doing so. It was hard.
Eventually Thomas from Career Services got up and told us the presentation would begin shortly after nine when the important people got out their staff meeting. Then he told us how the interviewing process was going to go down. He told me a few weeks ago he thought they were going to interview us separately with a panel of instructors and the Education Manager. Turns out he was wrong. We were going to divided into three groups of five and interviewed as a group with the panel and Education Manager. I got scared. I tend to get a little more nervous interviewing in a group. It's a little trickier to stand out I think...even with the rippling bicep shirt and amazing butt pants! Thomas you're killin' me! I decided I needed to show initiative and not hesitate to answer questions first. I didn't need the panel of "judges" thinking I'm timid and scared. I needed to be outgoing. BAM! In your face! GRRR! It was a small kink in my game plan...the group interview, but being able to improvise is a good quality too! The presentation started and I only had one panic attack. It was when they were listing off the requirements for T.A.'s. One requirement was a Utah Massage License and National Certification (The certification is required before you can even obtain a Utah License). I didn't take the National test. I took Federation. I seriously thought my dreams of becoming a T.A. were dashed right there on the spot! I wanted to cry. Thankfully, the Ed. Manager said Federation counted and the reason the PowerPoint said Nationals was the only requirement was because back in the day Utah only accepted Nationals. Now Utah accepts both. I started to breathe again. Don't scare me like that ever again Laura! Sheesh! After the presentation we were introduced to the instructors. Two instructors were missing! Of course the two that were gone were my favorites. (Unless Jeremy has left than it was just one instructor that was my fav that was gone). Out of the five instructors present I only knew two of them. Between the missing instructors and only knowing two of the five I thought for sure this would hurt my chances of getting hired. I started to worry. I felt down, but for sure not out. All us candidates were then herded like cattle into the break room where we waited for our groups turn to interview. I was in group two! Perfect! Can I tell you how hard it is to wait for your turn?!? It's hard! I had a million what if's running around in my head and even when I was done actually interviewing I still had to wait for group three to go and then wait even longer while the panel made their decisions. Gosh that was nerve racking! Waiting. It's not fun. I don't recommend it to anyone.
The time came for group two to interview. I almost peed my pants! When we got to the door of the interviewing room guess who we were greeted by!?! Combat boot guy! As I walked passed him I hoped he wasn't helping in the decision making because if he knew I was a M.E. therapist he wouldn't like me and assume stupid things! Stupid, dumb head! I'm good, I swear! The first thing we were asked to do was introduce ourselves and give a little summery of how long we had been out in the field and where we had been working and such. The two girls who went before me had been graduated for a year so I wasn't too intimidated by them having been out for two years myself. The girl after me had been out for three years and had Pathology T.A. experience. Again, not too bad. A little more intimidating, but manageable. BUT...the final guy in our group had 13 years experience...that's like 30 years experience in normal job years! My heart literally sank. You can't compete with that. To me he was a top contender of sure! The first question we had thrown at us was, "On a scale of one to ten rate your professionalism." The first two answers were ten and 9.5. My answer? Nine. I'm not perfect I am human. When I'm with my clients I strive to be a ten and obviously I would strive to be a good example to the students as well, but like I said; I'm not perfect. There are always instances where you say something that you may have been able to word better or do better. And I explained that to the panel. The other two ladies answered ten as well. (Really? You've never made a mistake? Doubt it!) Another question we had was, "Why do you want to be a T.A.?" This was my favorite question! I had the perfect answer and had to be first! It's always a good idea to go first because then the other people either have to copy your answer or think of something totally different and I DID NOT want to copy someone else's answer or revise my epic speech! And it was really how I felt, and not what I thought the panel wanted to hear. It was true feelings. It was awesome! Epic really. I don't remember all that I said or how I said it--I just let what was in my heart come out of my face! It went a little something like this; I struggled in school--not so much in Masters, but definitely in the Professional Program. I faced challenges every day, and I feel I owe it to UCMT to come back and give back to the students and instructors. I have a passion for the career I am in, and hopefully through me the students will be able to find their passion for body work as well. I want to share my passion with the students. I know how hard school can be--I faced challenges and obstacles--I hit walls, but I overcame them all. If I can do this anyone can. While I was going through all this I glanced over towards Kelle and the look on her face almost made me cry and I started to show some emotion so I had the avert the eyeballs. I knew if I looked at Laura I would have either cried or start to laugh (neither of which was something I wanted to do) so I had to look over to the scary men of the group to keep it together and flowing. The other candidates had their answers, but we all seemed to agree it was about giving back. We all came through the program and had good experiences that lead us to where we are today and feel it's time to give back and be a service to others. We were also asked what classes we did not want to be a T.A. for as wells as some scenario questions, "What if a student..." questions. With that my groups interview was over and we headed back to the break room from some more waiting! I love waiting! (Sarcasm folks). Overall, I felt like I did well in the interview. Sure there were some hard questions that I didn't have the best answer for, but I gave it my all and was honest with everyone. I thought I did good. I didn't know if it was 13 years experience good, but good.
The third and final group headed in and once they finished we had to wait while the panel collaborated on who they wanted and who was going to get the axe. I thought this part was the most nerve racking part of the whole day knowing I couldn't plead my case anymore and everything I said was being scrutinized by the panel. Everything was up in the air at this point and in the hands of the panel. No more chances for redemption--it was final! Laura FINALLY came out with her list of T.A.'s She told us it was a hard decision and reassured the people who didn't make it to not get discouraged and not to think of this as the end. Just read the list lady! I'm dyin over here! Laura started reading the names off and before I knew it there was only one spot left and my name had yet to be called. Realizing my chances at this point of getting called were slim I kind of gave up all hope. I began thinking about how I was going to tell my parents and the few people I had told about the interview, I didn't make it again. Laura continued, "And the final person we decided on is.......(I swear she paused for 30 seconds)....Amy..." (I wasn't the only Amy there so I had to wait for the last name, but my odds had just got a whole lot better so I was a little more hopeful). The pause between Amy and the last name about gave me a heart attack. I'm pretty sure she waited a whole minute before she finally said, "Small." Even at this point I didn't believe her. I was waiting for her to say, "Amy.........Small.....didn't make it." She didn't though. She just said Amy Small. Really? Are you serious? I think I'm hearing things. I could have sworn you said my name. Don't tease me Laura! When I finally accepted the fact my name was indeed called and I was on the T.A. list I wasn't quite sure what to do. I wanted to cry, but at the same time I wanted to do a happy dance and scream like a crazy person. So what did I decide to do? Nothing! I just sat there in amazement staring at the wall, trying to wrap my brain around the fact I had accomplished something I have wanted and fought for, for two years! My dream....has finally come true. It has finally happened. I have finally been given the opportunity to be a T.A. The feeling was surreal. I can't even begin to explain it. So many of our dreams at first seem impossible, then they seem improbable and then when we summon the will they become inevitable. Never give up, and don't stop trying. If there is something you want go after it and don't let others get in your way...not even yourself and the fears you may have. Your constant and determined effort will break down all resistance and sweeps away all obstacles.
If everything works out I'll be beginning classes in October and as a T.A. I vow to never turn my back on the students. I will do everything in my power to help them succeed. Whether it is a concept being taught or a technique they are struggling with I will be there to walk them through it until they understand it. This is my time! I got this!
Thank you Lindon UCMT for teaching me the lessons I needed to be a great therapist and for showing me passion for body work. Thank you to those not so good T.A.'s for showing me what not to be and what not to do. Thank you good T.A.'s for obviously showing me what a good T.A. is and does....especially Steven! Annnnd of course thank you SLC UCMT for taking me on and giving me the opportunity to share my love and passion for body work with the students, and serve the campus in any way I can, and hopefully grow as a therapist in the process. With the help of you all--the good and not so good I am the Amy I am today and I am grateful for the lessons you have all taught me along the way. Thank you for your contributions towards my amazing and fulfilling career! I love it!
