A Friend...

I met this lady once. She was kind and friendly--maybe a little too friendly for my liking at the time. She insisted on hugging me the moment she met and greeted me. I found this to be a tad freaky. I'm not one to hug or enjoy hugging complete strangers, but I indulged this freakishly friendly lady and allowed her to hug me because there was just something about her that made it okay and not so weird. She answered all my questions, reassured me that everything was okay and told me I would be able to do it. She put my mind at ease about the unknown abyss I had just jumped into. She even let me "steal" a smiley face gumball from her desk. Overall, my first impression of this lady was this: a hugger--something I wasn't. I was also sure she would be the obnoxiously overly peppy, always happy, smiling lady who would insist on hugging me every time she saw me. (My friend actually didn't end up being that person I realized over time. The person who ended up being the hug happy, peppy one was Andrea. Haha.) However, having this first impression of my friend wasn't really something I was looking forward to being the party pooper I was. However, she was nice and sincere so I was willing to put up with it. Little did I know three months following that day it would be her putting up with me...for seven months! I also didn't realize at the time of our first meeting just how grateful I would be to see the overly peppy lady on my first day of school.
I was scared to death, sitting in a room full of people I didn't know when I felt someone put a hand on my shoulder. I whipped around to find out who dared touch me to see my hug happy friend from a couple of months before. A face I recognized! I was sooo...relieved! She asked if I was doing okay and with a shaky unsure voice I said, "Yeah." I was totally lying. I wanted to puke my guts out. She smiled and told me I was gong to be okay. I on the other hand wasn't so sure. I decided at that point regardless of this lady's hugging history she would end up being someone rather important in my life and would end up being one of my most favorite people at the school. Boy that ended up being an understatement! At the end of the day I'm pretty sure I had gone into her office at least a half of dozen times all because she was the only person I knew. As it turns out I would spend every possible free moment I had in her office for months to come. That poor woman. I don't know how she dealt with it. I was a complete and total brat my first few months of school. I would sit in her office totally distraught, nearly in tears, having zero faith in myself, complaining about everything and even telling her how much I wanted to quit....EVERY SINGLE DAY! Do you know what this lady did? She listened to it all...EVERY SINGLE DAY! She listened to every single complaint I had and she even justified all my feelings. She didn't have to listen to my gripes. She could have closed her door to me--she probably should have. She just kept telling me, "You're going to be okay. You can do this. It'll get better--just give it time. One day you'll thank me for keeping you here." She never gave up on me even after I had given up on myself. She never walked out on me even though I had walked out on school. She always believed I would succeed.
She was right. I ended up being okay. I did do it. And it did get better. The person I am today is mostly the result of what this lady did for me months ago. I owe her my life and everything I have. She is someone I hold near and dear to my heart. Thank you for making me all that I was meant to be. You shall NEVER be forgotten and you WILL always be cherished. I love you.

A Promise To Myself.

WHEN IT COMES TO THIS LIFE

I'M RELENTLESS

BY ANY MEANS.

MY DRIVE IS TO EXCEED ALL THAT IS

EXPECTED OF ME.

I FACE ALL OBSTICLES HEAD ON AND

EACH ONE I WILL OVERCOME.

ALL GOALS ARE MORE THAN

ACHIEVABLE.

I WILL SUCCEED.

MY POTENTIAL IS ENDLESS.

I CONTROL MY OWN DESTINY IS MY

PURSUIT OF HAPPINESS.

YES, THIS IS MY LIFE LONG MISSION AND

I COULDN'T STOP IF I WANTED TO.

FROM BEGINNING TO THE END,

BEING AMY IS ALL I KNOW AND

ANYTHING ELSE WOULD BE A

DISRESPECT TO MYSELF.

My Letter To Myself

About a year ago at the beginning of massage school we were given the assignment to write ourselves a letter as if we had already graduated-- a letter from the future if you will. I worte this letter because I had to, not necessarily because I thought I was actually going to be graduating. I was still unsure of massage school and when I sat and down and earnestly thought about the future I had a hard time believing I was going to finish school. I wrote this letter anyways and did it as honestly as I could. Two months following graduation I received my letter in the mail and it brought a few tears to my eyes. I CAN'T believe how far I have come.

Amers,
Hey hotness! (Yes. I really did start my letter that way thanks to Olivia, my ten year old niece.) Congratulations on graduating from freakin' massage school! Can you believe it!?! I know there were many, many, many times you wanted to throw in the towel, but you kept on truckin' and have come SOOO...far! Thanks to your AMAZING support system; your parents, the Beach's, and all the great instructors and staff at UCMT you have learned some great skills and more importantly you learned A LOT, A LOT about yourself.
Thanks to Char you learned how to say, "I CAN" instead of saying and believing "I can't" You CAN!! I know you struggled with believing in yourself and trusting yourself and your body, but look at all you have overcome and are able to do! You are just as capable as anyone in this world. Don't allow your disability to disable you. Instead, allow it to enable you! Now go forth and conquer! I'm really proud of ya and all you have accomplished in these last seven months. You ROCK my SOCKS!
Oh yeah! Don't forget about Cat--she's been your saving grace a number of times throughout this journey. Don't forget to thank her for always being there for you and keeping you going even when you thought your world was crashing down around you. Always be grateful for the role she played in your life.
Remember the instructors and their patience, kindness, and willingness to help you in ANY way they could in order for you to grow and succeed. Be grateful for the challenges they put before you--you're stronger because of them.

Love,
Amy

Funny how just within a few weeks of school I already had a feeling of what I was getting myself into and just how hard I was going to get pushed. I was also aware of how badly I may end up wanting to quit. Yet, at the same time there was still just enough of the "unknown" to keep me from running away in fear. Had I known just how school was going to go from the very start there would have been no chance in hell I would have even bothered in staying through to the second day. I would have given up.
It's also funny how I knew who the important people were going to be and who was going to keep me going. I did thank Cat and I continue to thank Cat for what she did for me. And I'll ALWAYS be grateful for her. I owe her everything I have and she has played a pivitol role in the person I have become.
The one thing that ended up surprising me the most was how much I learned to love body work. There were times during school when I was absolutely sure I wasn't going to become a therapist in the end. Now? It's kind of surprising to me how happy I am to go to work and how much fun I have doing it. I love what I do and school really did change my life for the better. I am a completely different person today because of school and all the lessons I learned there. For the first time I think in my life I am truly happy to be Amy. I wouldn't change anything for the world. I am exactly right where I want to be and life couldn't be any better.